Poem: War hardened hearts

Money's just stripped bark from trees…
Things in its name, are so hard to see
Horrors most of us can hardly speak
Watching armies marching on our TVs/
Killing women, children to keep winning
With boats sent over the sparkling seas
Bombing people who cant hardly eat…
Like a party speech by Charlie Sheen/

Its nonsense, but what's alarming me
Is the bombarding of the starkest field
Nations hearts darkened by pharmacy
Drugs that harm more then they heal/
Enemies pulled apart like carving meat
While Satan's in charge of the wheel
We eat hearts, body parts like the feet
Play bones like music guitar harmonies/

Blood flows deeply, it starts soaking in
As old wars are torn, they reopen a rift
I hear pain in any language spoken with
Any accent - they done broke the bridge/
Orphans sorting through loads of brick..
Where the parents old home would sit
Dropping bombs, some explosions hit
Men tossing bodies over an open pit/

In profit wars more lives are the fallout
What we are told is already thought out
So they can willfully murder, go all out
Spread stories on if we dont war now/
Our cities and towns will be torn down
Our conscience's start just walking out
By tolerating what needs calling out
Evil growls from men busy salting ground/

So food pulled out the ground is history
Claim to give freedom, teaching literacy
Yet literally repeating the contradictory
Stories of how the injuries afflicting the/
Brow beaten natives wasnt our artillery
Releasing mortar rounds direct delivery
You see, you'll believe that paramililtary
Gone rogue is why we fought so bitterly/

Honest, we tried staying on the periphery
With no intent gaining anything fiscally
Now people imagine if we didnt intervene
To stop horrors we laid from the unseen/
Your land swathed full of nitroglycerine
And draw the fight out your Mujahedeen
Til they bite, snipe and get extra keene
We set scene, drum beat and the BBC/

Recording us finding explosives that-we
Already paid traitors to really pack deep
Markets and shops sky high with TNT
So civilians dying is so nice and messy/
Prime time scenes have people begging
We enter the conflict and quickly ending
Any distrust from any voices dissenting
Setting up charities for victims collecting/

Fives, tens with absolutely no intention
Of giving the cash to any of our enemy
Long as you think you help them to eat
We take all resources, horded by fleet/
The marines sing God save the Queen
While palestinian kids drop on knees
Shot to pieces by Israelli pogrom elites
Patrolling killzones where nobody leaves/

Tell me, where the hell is humanity?

Sleep; the BROTHER of death, not the cousin…

Sleep is the cousin of death.

Many people have heard of it, I can think of a lyric from one of my favourite lyricists; Nas where he uses this very line. In a roundabout way, most people have heard of it in one way or another. But what does it really mean?

Logically does it imply that when we lose conscious awareness by falling asleep that it is in some way related to the physical death you walk towards as you read this at this very moment? If sleep is cousins with death, should we conclude that sleeping too much means we waste valuable time we could spend awake “alive and kicking?”

I suppose you could draw that conclusion because sleeping less does give you more waking hours to live. More time awake must mean more time alive, right? While it might be true can we really believe that is as deep as the phrase goes? For example, if you sleep less because you smoke crystal meth, your awake and alive far more than most, but can that be called a “good living?”

Compare the example above, with somebody who sleeps 12 hours per day but spends the other 12 tirelessly working in the community helping others less fortunate. They sleep far more than the tweaked out meth user but you cannot say the extra time awake and alive the meth user has, gets used for anything worthwhile, isn’t it?

Compared to the 12 hour a day sleeper who spends half his life asleep and half helping the needy, it’s certainly true the time they spend awake is more positive and helpful to others than the meth user. Yet, the useful but 12 hour snoozing person spends half a lifetime unconscious. Given we get three score and ten years to live (if your lucky) spending 35 years of that allotted time unconscious could be as wasteful as a meth user who does nothing positive for others.

Both are wasteful in their own ways; one cannot see through the billowing acrid smoke drifting from the hit hole on a glass pipe, the other is literally living half a life even if the other half is spent doing good for others.

Following on logically, sleep as the cousin of death suggests the two are family, therefore similar. Yet, in sleep we are able to dream – once dead our dusty bones lose the ability to dream permanently. In sleep our bodies continue to perform thousands of functions vital to the body being able to stay in balance and remain in a state which “waking up” is possible, even though its not always guaranteed.

So sleep and death share unconsciousness in terms of awareness of our physical surroundings, but they differ massively in other ways. Death is permanent, dreamless and the body ceases to function. Sleep is vital, biologically maintaining itself regardless of the conscious awareness in the person. So logically, sleep and death in literal terms are far more different than they are similar. There must be a deeper comparison or layer of commonality between both states for it to spawn the phrase this whole article started off with, surely?

A philosopher may argue that sleep is cousins with death because both are states of unconscious awareness of physical reality around ourselves. If we are totally unaware of the physical world around us to all extent and purposes death is the same as sleep. They are the same because in both states you are inactive, unable to make changes to physical reality or even defend yourself from danger. The only difference being; the sleeping will eventually arise while the dead rest for good.

Would that imply that sleep and death share one difference only, length of time “dead” or unconscious? After all we will all eventually put our head on a pillow one day for the final time as sleep streamlines into death. As it’s unavoidable for us all to avoid physical death, could it be argued that sleep is a practise run for our final encore, our permanent death?

Consider that this morbid sounding topic and post so far is true for a second and we die every night and live every morning our eyes automatically open. It’s as if our eyes opening once our bodies well rested by itself opens the curtains allowing the rays of conscious light to reanimate our dead flesh. But hang on, why does a sleeping person automatically spring to life each morning the way it does, seeing as the dead tend to lose their ability to regain life at all once declared dead.

As both states are unconscious and out of our ability to control physically with awareness of the physical world we live in, and die in – why would arguing if sleep is related to death when in both states we are not even aware of the difference consciously anyway? Philosophically speaking we could construct all manner of explanations, even the most eloquent and beautiful amongst these descriptions is meaningless unless you’re alive to think on the topic. Its like thinking of a colour you’ve never seen before, its only really as useful as another common saying; “if a tree falls without anybody around, does it make a sound?”

In essence the tree paradox is never really about finding or working out the answer, its more the small moment of mental silence as your mind tries to imagine an impossible thing. It produces a moment of complete silence as the brain is temporarily stumped by the fact there is no answer to be found. In fact trying to find answers to paradoxes is a fools errand.

A paradox was only intended to bring your internal self to a point of silent, peaceful and empty awareness. Which is a break from the constant chatter of our Egoistic, dualistic and frankly mundane mental chatter that the mind incessantly repeats every day.

Peaceful, thought free and without thought… Sounds a little like sleep or dare I say death doesn’t it? Ponder for a moment the irony that a paradox which can only be contemplated while awake brings your mind to a place of silent, unconscious, peaceful relief from the toll life brings to us mentally every day!

It’s very much like the paradox of “life and death” when analysed deeply as how can life and death be seperate things when without one or the other, the remaining thing loses all of its meaning? Without death, you couldn’t be alive and without a life to live you wouldn’t experience death. I would say they are two sides of the same coin, but they are more alike to a single thing, in front of a mirror. Dependant on the mirror to see itself live, and dependant on the mirror to see its final moment before death arrives.

Fear death and you’ll never live, yet love to live and you’ll fear death bringing it to it’s end.

So, indeed it appears in odd ways sleep and death can be seen like “related cousins” that are similar, different, not alike but are both unavoidable and both require physical consciousness to become extinguished. Paradoxical indeed! Like all paradoxes I would like to propose this;

Sleep is closer related than cousin’s with death – it’s a full fledged fully related blood brother of death.

We live and die every single day until the physical body reaches its limit and gives out, returning every atom we accumulated from the earth back to her muddy embrace without exception. It may seem morose and morbid to view existance like this, one day at a time waking up alive only to fall asleep and “die” again and again. Is there any point to this paradoxical cycle at all?

If you wake up after going to sleep believing you are not going to sleep, but falling into death then EVERY day you arise is a miracle and a gift that is not ever guaranteed.

How would you live if you chose to take this belief and implement it into your life? Would you sit and eat pizzas, drink beer and waste time watching TV you’re not watching as your scrolling on a smart phone through other things you arent watching either? Or would you strive to ensure that your present life that was gifted as soon as your eyes open in the morning was properly made use of? Wouldn’t you want to know that as you lay down later that evening expecting death (which you inevitably will get one day) knowing you’d be OK with it as you made the alive and awake hours you spent truly fizzled with life?

Or would you lay down fearful that you wasted another gift wrapped up for you daily, delivered on the rays of “God’s Sun” or Son if you are religious. A gift with no weight, design or any dimension observable to us physically at all! The gift of your potential to be truly alive to the best of your ability, knowing that a wasted day is a wasted life, as potentially being the last gift you’ll ever receive before tonight’s inevitable “death?”

What do I have to live for becomes why should I let another gift of life die as silently as the tree fell without a soul near by? My life is terrible and I cannot cope becomes a slow creeping realisation that thinking like that is like taking a birthday gift thoughtfully bought for you and throwing it onto a firepit without opening it. Why bother, if its a birthday gift it means you have one year less to enjoy it.

Life is death and death is life in the same way a seed is a future plant, aswell as dried yellow husk of what it once was. To fear to live causes anxiety, causes depresion and many missed opportunities to grab life by its scruff and shake it down for all its got. To fear death is to own nothing, risk nothing and never truly try to be anything through fear of being shaken down like how I described life being shaken down just a moment ago.

You can either live, or you can die. But remember the two are not different in any way. Life is the absence of death and death is desolation of life, merely hiding within eachothers shadow to disguise the wisdom they both bring;

To live is to suffer and to die leaves loved ones of yours to suffer your loss. But to be paralysed by fear so that you neither live OR die, is tragedy beyond life and death’s suffering combined.

To fear to live or to fear your death is a fate worse than either, as its neither of the two. Not alive, but not dead – a zombie like creature who much like a fallen tree with nobody around, when death chops you from existance regardless, nobody will remember you. How could they, when they haven’t heard you were alive or dead yet?

Like left handed writer who’s inkpot has ran dry, mind exploding with the prose of an as of yet unwritten Macbeth, you’ll never write your story if your too scared to smudge the ink. Nor perform the masterpiece you made without daring to take a risk.

Does a tree make a sound, with nobody else around? You’ll never know, if you never leave your house. Embrace life as you welcome death, because without each other there is no need for breath.

Working at being spiritually centred every day, got any tips for me?

Tell me some of your spiritual practises

EDIT: this post is a year or so old, from some of my saved but not published digitally collection of writings. Id say it was written late summer of 2021.

How do you guys take what you have come to know spiritually and use it day to day? I think its the biggest split today, between those who read spiritual information and remember it, and those who actually have experienced it.

I always have read well, from a kid right til now. So im fairly brainy in my own interests but i guess nothing hooked me faster than direct experience with spirit, energy, divinity etc. Ive had kundalini rising since 18 years old, because stupidly as a young teen i got books on energy work / kundalini yoga. Adding breath work to this for a few years, never thinking it would do anything but it did relax me. Younger me used to sometimes smoke cannabis, that combined with visualisations and breath control finally blew the lid one night. Well and truly fucking up my life for a good 8 years up to managing OK now.

That day i felt what energy is, was and what it wants to do. Which was burn through every blockage i have wether ready or not... I remember suddenly hearing a waterfall when i was meditating and then distinct "tribal drums" about 3 or 4 beats then it came ... Kaleidoscope like colours twirling in my eyes, and a RED HOT feeling at bottom of spine. Almost like sitting on a boiling hot waterbottle with no top on... Uncomfortably hot. And yeah... It burst through and ran havock. That being said, without it id never know for sure. 100% changed me.

Secondly, once i was on the beach and looking out to sea. It was like 5am but in the summer time here, it was shaping up to be a really warm day. I was on way home from a night out, walking back to mine and decided to watch sun rise as its looking so nice.

The sea began to "crystalise" at first... At the horizon, like when the distant waves crashed, it looked "digital" like fragments of shapes instead of how it normally looks. Suddenly, i became aware of "something" as i looked at the sea... Something that made me feel very small yet, very included. I started to notice that whatever this presence was, i was too. So was well, everything. It made me feel like i was part of one huge organism that doesnt realise its all one thing. Like the illusion had broken, i said out loud "wow, everyone looks for god so hard, yet hes just everywhere always... All this war what a cosmic joke!" Then i remember laughing really loud and rolling about on the floor for a few hours.

The presence didnt say a single thing... Or give any indication of form, definitely didnt feel "male" or "female" it felt beyond that. I felt everything i needed to at once standing there made me feel humbled in a huge way. I felt like this "thing" or feeling i had towards "it" was the truth. Felt more true than anything ive found in life. I felt embarrassed by my life in a way, coz i was taking it so seriously. Caught up in what i thought was important that this experience utterly blitzed it all into nothingness. I dont believe in religion but the bible certainly was right when it said "the mind of man can never understand god" and it felt like my nerves were almost overworked, like a bolt of lightning. I got a download and it programmed me with important bits and made the useless seem utterly comical.

2 hours pass and i start to wind down, and walk back to mine. I couldnt speak for two full days after, mind blown totally. I guess i was processing things, i got given so much data without any form, the "god" or "conscious source" i met is beyond words, shape etc. I know it wasnt evil, or had bad intentions it just IS and theres nothing you can do but witness and be humble big time. This was, 4 years ago, and i wish so much it would happen again.

I daily talk in my head to "it" but no luck so far, the biggest spiritual practise i do is dream note taking and pushing my love for self and others as far as possible. Service to others in that im a counsellor beginning a new business, and being aware that spiritual people arent needed in nice groups, ideal settings but it IS needed in the trenches... Jesus apparently said he isnt here for saints, just sinners.

I push my love into places it hurts me to do so and usually its thrown in my face. It seems to tingle the heart centre massively to do so.

How can i develop my empathy yet keep heart stable? Because of kundalini rising im not doing visualisation meditation or chakra work.

What do u guys do?

Identity, personal improvement and other musings…

Identity & Identifying critical points in our lives. How to notice the things you should and how to forget the things you dont need and often hold you back.

Without the ability to accurately view yourself you are hopeless in regard to changing something about yourself. With no awareness, we have little top down control. Our brains are NOT wired against us. It is running perfectly and how you have asked it too, in many occasions. You have been unaware of the “codes” and “commands” to have it working like the amazing machine it is.

I want to give a set of tools you can use every day to actively control your mind and put it to work FOR you not against. The tools are to be used daily, similar to a prescription but are cummulative over a period of time.

They seem simple in application, but are actually complex. It may seem like doing some of the actions im advising you do are pointless, or that they arent having any effect on you at all. Be patient, your mind is like a giant ball of string, except with wires and they all want to be on at the same time. Over time we will group the right wires together and rewire what is not helping us.

Your brain is working in ways that you arent happy with. Or, it brings you down. It seems like its “the way it is” and that often our brains seem to do their own thing. Nothing could be further from truth, in fact your brain if anything has become lazy and blunt from lack of direction.

The thoughts we have shape the actions we take, thus they form our behaviour. Almost everything we do, is a learned behaviour. As in, we have customised routines and belief systems that help us deal with the stimulus that we usually receive per day. The brain is superb at optimising and reinforcing behaviour if it is a benefit. I.e, if it makes things quicker or less effort. Even our bad behaviours are optimised by your brain to save you trouble somewhere along the lines.

Example, if you were chronically bullied at school and throughout your life (the stimulus) then naturally your brain may begin to send you feelings of panic, fear and distress whenever the prospect of it happening again arises. Sure enough you develop a fear of others because it makes sense to AVOID what we know does us harm. Your brain is trying to help by identifying a pattern thata damaging and motivating you to not do it. Chemically you are laced by hormonal changes and this signals to you “hey this is gonna be shit, heads up”.

Where the brain goes wrong, is when remembering that you’ve often been bullied in the past, it isnt a reason to develop full blown social anxiety and problems socially down the line. Lots of mental conditions / states of mind occur through the brain identifying a problem and then repetition of coping strategies become unhealthy.

What we repeat, becomes the law. Neurons are built, pathways are forged and the brain gets better at doing the wrong thing. Its to save you the job of having to think it all yourself, from fresh everytime. The skill is, when you begin to identify your own behaviours and then making healthy strategies to face your issue.

I am absolutely massively into HONESTY. It really is the most freeing thing you can hold onto for us as people. It serves as your walking stick, meter rule and as your proverbial rod to break the old chains that stop us from being the best version of us we can be. Medication can be useful for periods where you are struggling alot, but it is never really meant to be on for life.

Lifetime medicated just means you’ve chosen a way to feel through a drug, or combo of drugs and this is preferable to the alternative painful way of being. This cant be a cure, surely? It is just blocking the pain out, by making yourself in the state that your medicine creates. Example being, if a person suffers great anxiety socially, but learns that alcohol reduces it to a large degree, what is the difference between this and somebody taking doctor medication?

Safety? I wouldnt be so sure, lots of medication carries danger and even lethal consequence. Alcohol carries a massive addiction profile for some, but so does legit medicines. Its when you live a life inside the warm, fuzzy induced states you become truly lost as to who you are. It becomes so easy to use the med, drink the wine to block the unwanted, you forget what its like to not be this way. Fuzzy and not so sure is better than definitely not ok for a set of reasons.

We like to complain when we arent our best, say that we just dont know whats wrong when in actuality, we know full well. So many flat out deny truth yet accept modified versions of it they make up for themselves. Confronting painful memories or correcting destructive behaviour is not easy. It takes a massive amount of power for a person to say;

“Its nobodys fault and not within anybodys power to influence my life in any major way. How i am now, is largely because of my beliefs, actions and ways ive learned to deal with stress. Therefore, the only way to heal is from the decision being made within myself. I can wait a lifetime, or face this now and be the captain of my own ship.”


“Well, thats the thing. With “my anxiety” or “my depression i just struggle to motivate myself to find work. I cant get out of bed, its a daily struggle. Between living in this area which has no prospects and the shit hand my parents gave me growing up, im dammed anyway. Im not gonna break my balls to try something which is never likely to happen. Dreams are no more, im living in reality. Every day feels roughly the same, i got pills that do work but not as well as at first now. Im sure they help, coz when i stop i feel terrible. Living with my disorder means making sacrifices and that i cant do everything. Thank you for those who listened and are sympathetic, it really helps me.”

Never ever become a symptom or a diagnosis! It isnt “your” anxiety, or depression. Nobody can own these things, as they are disordered, unhealthy states of mind.

When you get given a diagnosis, in a large amoujt of cases its given as a thing to explore. Bipolar disorder is quite definitive but isnt something to rally behind, adhere to all its ways or to declare is “who you are”. It is brilliant to know as a frame work that you can “navigate” through your own mind and feelings, sure. But once the label becomes your daily thing, when symptoms become your excuses for failing at this or that, you become slack with personal responsibility.

The patient who its nobody else’s fault and nobody can change this apart from me is very brave. They must take each mistake and face it. Whereas somebody hiding behind a label using symptoms to mask his mistakes only learns how to hide well. When you choose to copp out and accept disorder as a defining characteristic you hold, you are limiting yourself. Your clipping your own wings only to cry that you miss the sea breeze beneath your wings so to speak.

Sure, you get alot of sympathy from others and many will excuse poor behaviour from you as “understandable” given the condition you have etc. Not working is acceptable, seeing as you have a personality disorder. In some it continues along this, negatively reinforced route of limiting belief and behaviour that requires little effort to maintain and perfect padding to cushion any falls or mishaps.

We are no more than the imagination of ourselves. If you get to control (largely) what you think or feel, why would you choose to see a person with “cants” and “conditions” as the thing you latch onto? Security in mediocrity is neither genuine, noble or a good way to develop self esteem.

Upholding what the truth is at any given time can often do you no favours. Nobody is hated more than the person who says the truth as it is, plain and unseasoned. It causes the excuse makers, the labellers and the maladaptive minded to recoil and defend themselves! How dare you think its that simple, if things were so easy dont you think i would already be doing that?

No my friend, i expect you to see how you might fail and actively use symptoms to mask anything you dont want to risk. I expect you to weigh up the unknown and embrace it in spirit of self development, not assume that unknown equals danger and switch guide posts on the way with “danger wet floor signs”. I expect an excuse to be what stops the truth from influencing you and its sadly this way because you said “mistakes are damaging, i mean how does that make me look? Surely, somebody in my condition should have allowances made? When lifes easy, repetitive actions are safe and i am in control. I dont want to risk losing control, losing face if i slip or having to confront pain that i buried for a purpose.”

Thats a fuck ton more work than simple honesty which directly gives bearings, frameworks and reference points to measure yourself up to. It says, actually you CAN do that even if it seems like you cant. And if its a struggle, so what? A life of no struggle is a life stripped of the moments that make you strong. Reject the cotton wool insulating you from life and accept the liberating, fresh, cool breeze that clears any room of the stench maladaptive behaviour can bring.

When you live in truth, you make those full of shit really uncomfortable. Your doing what they know is right but they cant. “Dont be so hard on yourself bro.. we all mess up sometimes” is code for “stop being so honest, that makes me seem like im living a lie”. So when you list what you did wrong, with reasons why and ways to change in future with zero blame on anybody apart from yourself… they wither in comparison. The truth is never acceptable to those who live in illusion. The truth also exists as a thing accessable by all alive today. Your illusions, dont exist but inside your head of your own creation. Somehow, we swap truth for made up, accept limits instead of aiming at targets and substitute our will power for a comfy seat and plenty on TV.

If your struggling to accept painful truth in your life, ask yourself what illusion has replaced it. Ask why the illusion serves you instead. Why is your head up your arse instead of in the game actively helping you be who you want to be?

If you cant be honest with you, how can you say your comfortable in your own skin? If you cant sit in peace with the truth inside your own head (that you control), then dont expect to be kushty living in the big world (you really dont control).

To gain an accurate, honest and health promoting view on life and yourself, its critical you see things as they are. If not, you have lost before its began. You waste time doing the wrong thing confident and insulated with the way you set life up around you. First, your friends dont push you, they are happy to see you stay the same. They probably have things they have latched onto about themselves too, so backing up your labels also reinforces the validity of theirs.

You are auto set to reject frank and honest observation about yourself, instead relying on twisted views and attitudes that you have gained over time. As a result you may be in the wrong head space to recover, whilst you wish you could do just that. Examples are thinking that mental illness is permanently bad and can never be improved upon. Once your nuts, your nuts. Why try to improve a flawed thing? At best you’ll be a decent flawed piece, not a flawless masterpiece. You forget, how many canvases come and go just to make ONE Van Gogh painting.

You love predictable and low effort behaviour and hold being comfortable above all else. Its hard being mentally unwell, or having conditions affect your daily life, so to minimise this you tend to “take it easier” and “take the path of least resistance” when you choose what to do. This is belly aching at its finest and is looking for an audience if im honest. Despite of illnesses, many many things are possible to acheive and happen daily in properly motivated individuals. Changing a dangerous bump in the road as being a danger to the stability you have, transform it into a point of daily pride that you strive to acheive in the face of the things which say you cant.

Remember that rules arent unchanging, near impossible to break markings for life. They are just agreed on ways to do things. Labelling and belly aching only reduce your feelings of unhappiness and non satisfactory living standards being the number 1 reason your not happy. Sure, nobody bats an eye lid at the schizophrenic who is a shut in, seeing just a handful of people only as required because “its tough to be him”. It is hard, but we all stare at the schizo who seizes the day and learns his label is also a guide to understand more. We gasp when that schizo through education and zero excuses stands in front of his class presenting work. Is his mental state gone in either situation? No, he presents with the same voices present as usual.

The posistion of power between presenting work for a class of people to spite the voice that says if you do, your parents will die is dramatic. It is pure freedom and will to be who you WANT to be instead of “just taking your lot and being done with it”.

Its these thoughts that lead to an increase in awareness, resourcefulness and resilience. To do so when others may believe you cant or if they were you they wouldnt dream of doing so will fill you with the gusto you need to reshape, mould and lay down tight life skills that build hope.

You have no excuses when it goes wrong, just that you tried and failed on this occasion. You’ll learn and develop an iron will that once set, is nigh on impossible to break. Truth is inherently GOOD and is the too priority for me alongside freedom. Despite how well its received or taken, it helps all who hear it. Truth is simple, easy to explain and is able to be broken down into repeatable steps.

You can correct a thousand mistakes, but can never change a limiting belief. Its like wishing to lose weight but refusing to eat anything other than junk food because it isnt as nice to eat personally. You choose to eat only junk, but less of it and expect this to correct the nutritional needs your missing. All the mental gymnastics and excuses whizzing around all are over explanations / over exagerations of denial of one truth: “your eating too much junk, it is terrible for you and even limiting how much you eat wont improve you, if its only junk you consider come dinner time.”

Brain stuff: no tectum, no developed modern man?

As life develops over time it has a tendancy to get more complex. We see this when looking back at some of the earliest animals, they range from single cell aeomba like creatutes to worms which are essentially a tube that food can be passed through, a hole to excrete waste products and a big, toothy mouth. 

They were not able to pick up on half as much data from their environment like life forms are able to today back then, lets use human development for example. Our nervous system has eventually became the human brain which is capable of processing signals and processing some over other signals.


This link even shows a connection with the tectum and developing psychosis, which is linked to "visions of God" and transcendental experiences with some difficulty properly seperating the two from each other (psychosis or spiritual vision).

From the humble "tectum" in the brain, a region all vertabrates share today, we got our first taste of control of attention between signals picked up on from the environment. The first vertabrates developed the ability to focus on signals detected by the nervous system in regards to what environmental data they picked up first when more than one is present. Before this, in jellyfish like creatures they would have multiple signals detected at once and the strongest of them would trigger a physical response in the organism, almost reactionary.

The tectum was a point of focus however rudimentary it seems today, without which choice couldnt exist. It gave the option of not automatically responding to the strongest stimuli every single time. The tectum helps modern frogs to track a insect flying nearby before it eats it for example. Time gave us many happy accidents where not reacting to stimuli meant getting a benefit in another way that helped us massively. All animals instinctually dislike fire, the jump from that to using fire as a tool to stay warm and eventually to use in cooking isnt possible until we choose to disregard strong anti fire stimuli our brains evolutionarily know, in order to make food / stay warm and survive.

Before this we probably didnt have any idea of ourselves. Like the boundaries of ourselves & other things. Reflections in mirrors etc. Keeping track of what our limbs are doing in relation to other limbs, head direction and where the eye directs its gaze helped us develop mobility. Next is a primitive cortex to develop, right into the massively expanded cerebal cortex we all have as modern mammals, starting with an alledged type of shrew like original mammal that lived in the time of dinosaurs. Without a cortex to develop, we wouldnt be able to think of anything that we arent just about to do, current movements or reactions to stimuli. A cortex meant we can think of something that our eyes cant see, but we know is there (or we think its possible). Example, we learn a food source is next to a waterfall. Night time has many predators, which means we cant sleep there. We leave, and sleep somewhere else thats safer but when we wake and are hungry or thirsty without a cortex we wouldnt "remember" or picture the waterfall and food source. We wouldnt be able to picture where we last had food and water, and then make our way to it again. Basic building blocks right? Whats this got to do with spirit?

Well, once we were knew ourselves as a thing seperate from others, could control our limbs and prioritise and respond to environmental stimulus AND we could picture things that isnt using our eyes we then developed arguably "consciousness" because as our ability to pick up more and more data on our surroundings, we had to specialise our attention processes and refine the ones advantageous to survival. Something developed that took "experience" & "capacity for learning" and combined it within our cortex. Simply put an awareness in a basic sense of what it can do. As in, i know i can eat this and drink this and im OK. (Learning its possible to eat this and live) or to know sleeping here tonight isnt safe because of predators (learning the safest ways to rest and survive).

I guess spirituality could be no more than this rudimentary "internal representation" or schema of what an organism can and cant do through time, learned experience and basic awareness of self. This primitive awareness doesnt know how the nerves work, or anything about the body really but its akin to a self driving car, it needs not to know how its built, the ins and outs more than its dimensions, how to ride and detecting the road ahead. Its a simplified, internal, abstract view of what an organism can do.

Since its abstract this may be why man originally "found god". Concluding that there is a part of him that is non physical, as it seems to exist without being able to be touched or even explored in detail. Yet, it wouldnt be something to ignore as being real at leaat in the individual mind.

Getting the benefits of a wonderous neurological marvel such as a mammalian brain, or early human brain its easy to see why its possible the brain "insists" on something non physical working because of its ignorance to the wonderful neuronal symphony of cascading neurological networks we know today run our brains. It just has a childlike, primitive awareness somethings working.

Is consciousness not studying a "magic like thing emerging from our brain" but actually a machine feeding information to a brain who through imperfect knowledge believes it is conscious?

Food for thought, definitely.

Love; a poem written automatically with no breaks (experiment)

Love wont hold on, to the truly wrong…
It likes life, choosing just to move along
To fight is quite useless, wasting force
Best used trimming tasteless thought/
Love lies within beauty and within more
Vibrating mind states like a tuning fork
Love infuses to chakras, head to floor
Opening a door for Atman within us all/

The heart generates love that radiates
At varying radius, from football stadiums
Ranging down in all different gradients
Love shines bright like its painted radium/
Compassion travels on wavelengths its-in
Experience I bring stops any major thing
Developing quick, pace like racing slicks
Instead of breaking things, remain in bliss/

Love should free, not feel a straight jacket
I gaze at this fact with a painters pallet…
Heavy mallet, chipping away at granite
A piece to defeat fear, it’s all banished/
Self love can make self hate just vanish
Build esteem that means pain collapses
Forgive, forget get rid of all the latching
Issues need buried, and with the hatchet/

I started with one line, and let my mind wander off so this is rough I admit but I tried my hardest to just write what came to mind without thinking of what’s next. Do you write in this way, all you poets? Its kinda like automatic writing and a glimpse into my subconscious as the topic came at random and I ran with it.

Usefulness is probably decent, in that it lets me peek into the right hemisphere and is kinda like self journaling. Criticism welcome, read and not comment if you like, I just enjoy expressing myself in new ways. Share your novel ways you create content maybe I can learn a thing or two!

Get Vaxxd or your Mad… (poem)

If you are listening to the mainstream
Persistently it pains like brain freeze
Blocking views like an Opaque screen
Confuse you in the words they speak/
The truth's ugly and it's waist deep
News stations seem on the same team
But they're determined you stay asleep
Lies shaded as fact, that portray relief/

Giving the option of stabilising rocking
Boats sailing water with danger constant
Media promises to prevent the knocking
Of problems with the key that will lock it/
Safe in a box, yet remaining unconscious
While the media explains all our options
Yet not naming obvious, major problems
Its nonsense, and our brain is throbbing/

Offering jabs framed as if its just boxing
Hiding the needle containing such toxin
To say it places you in the lane of a gossip
Half crazed, jaded as a conspiracy boffin/
Like David Icke, called seriously lost in
Thoughts that ignite big losses in profit
For bosses on this big pharma stock list
Needing sheep for the product to flog it/

Our leaders slither, tongues like a serpent
Named "PM" - behave just like a merchant
Sale and purchase, it tops public service
Vax sales are urgent coz its all purchased/
Spouting "trust the science" like a sermon
Doubting is wise, if you arent dead certain
Or if facts feel obscured, behind a curtain
Of adverse effects a person is burdened/

Now days "experts" are to be worshipped
Studies hand picked for maximum coercion
And refusing vaccines is kind of desertion
With people dying from slowing inertias/
Why do nurses and respected researchers
With science findings worthy of service
Blurred, ignored like they arent occuring
When hurting big pharma's purse strings?/

Safe and effective is a repeat assertion
If 2024 is when the results determined?
Yellow card reports show many concerning
Reports from nerve pains and burning/
To brain disorders, fits and short circuits
Are disconcerting and people are certain
Effects are damage, not signs its working
Is it likely anybody is doing any learning?/

Treating public like rats running circuits
Born an experiment, as medical servants
To companies who pay no reimbursement
For any loss, disease or death emerging/
Governments warn people the sternest
Threaten to take away ability for earning
No jab, no cash kiss goodbye to working
Vanishing holidays banished with certainty/

With little regard for the pharmakinetics
Insert a gene synthetic and later regret it?
Dont expect medics to be any sympathetic
Vaxxine skeptics dispose books on ethics/
Frame the maimed as just being hysteric
Its only 2 weeks to slow the spread its -
Apathetic, and to just slow the pandemic
Clear chemical messages get prevented/

A release so shareholders get protected
And healthy returns on money is collected
Genuine corcern gets called so pathetic
TV debates are banned discussing merit/
Brilliant minds wise painted as eccentric
Peddlers of discord and made to regret it
Til we rise, eye to eye as a big collective
We'll lose sets by how badly represented/

Evidence gathered, wether its presented
In excellence the TV will try and wreck it
Disregarding all the lives so badly effected
Despite details known, deep and forensic/
Analysis triggers a vigourously defensive/
Actually offensive on many faces wet with/
Tears as friends deaths breed a fermented
Hatred for corporate interests protected/

So roll up a sleeve, coz their best guess
Is you'll be OK, not that their interested..

Watch “Secret Teachings of Plato & Theology of Arithmetic – Pythagorean Origins of Sacred Geometry” on YouTube

A brilliant beginner level introduction to how mathematics shifts from simple written calculations and measurement of the world around us, to living forms of vibration as building blocks of everything that ever has and ever could exist.

Stay tuned for a upcoming post from myself on how sacred geometry can be used practically, to benefit your life and build yourself the life you desire by understanding this;

Without knowing the most basic of shapes, complex lifeforms cannot exist. It’s like trying to build a pyramid without understanding how a triangle works…

Phythagoras was far more than just a mathematical mind. Worlds apart from the maths we learned at school, sacred geometry dives into the metaphysical nature of number and vibration.

Metaphysics of number is the biggest rabbit hole I have found, the more I understand the less I do.

At the root of all paradoxes is “the moment of silence” as your brain struggles to find an answer. Turns out, an answer isnt necessary. It’s the moment of mental silence which holds the power of paradox itself.


1914 cancer act & the ever increasing cancer research adverts these days…

Hey people, just thought I would post this up for you all.

I don’t know where your living but in the UK they made it illegal to treat cancer if your a Doctor in any other way than chemo, scapel or radiotherapy as per the 1939 cancer act..

(https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo6/2-3/13/introduction) and it states on the page that its up to date but may change in the future, meaning what exactly is the point in researching new cancer cures when its illegal to use them at present? Makes you wonder where all the cash really goes.


I personally havent heard about the GcMAF therapy and its application for Immune system function but its specifically made as a natural compound made in our own bodies.

Immune boosting treatment (so applicable to the BS we are going through now with “virus mania” in fashion atm) but check out the story of what happened to the UK doctor who succesfully used this to treat cancer only to end up in prison.

Big question is of course why isnt this being explored / offered as a option if you dont fancy frying yourself with radiation in cancer treatment…

With over 160 studies and acclaim from smart doctors and scientifc minded people, do you think this would also potentially be the procedure that would replace and blow the current mrna jabs out the window in safety and effectiveness?

Highly reccomend you give it a read, its food for thought and more examples of a dogmatic and unflexible medical world that in the end, only hurts the person who really needs help in the end. Sad really…

Im watching daily in horror as the some of the so called medical experts (but not all, there are many good men and women who are speaking truthfully) are turning medicine into something more like religious faith. Science is based on DOUBT and control groups, not a be all and end all sacred knowledge for the ages.

EDIT: I personally can’t reccomend the UK column more, a brilliant and non biased bunch of people.

I’m speculating here and call me cynical but, all I see is charity adverts on TV over the last few years. Now, is it that all the charities that have been all over tv screens absolutely do terrible jobs and that explains why more and more are popping up or is it just that it so happens tugging at heart strings on things people care about makes a nice bit of profit? Its an either or choice because if they keep folding due to poor practise or more and more charities keep popping up because its a sweet way of making some cash, something stinks to high heaven. What do you think?